Don't want to wrigt it in my livejournal. Couse it's more just a way to settle some thoughs and english writing practice.
I have a clear understanding that never could draw and paint as I fancy. Thirst of creativity has a certain limit of my abilities. Which in turn are restricted by education. Alas, my technical knowledge has no connection with art needs. So there can be only one implication: you deserve only that you're skilled in :)